The holiday season is supposed to bring joy, happiness, togetherness, and celebration, but despite the ads of happy smiling people that bombard us on billboards, TV, and social media, why do so many of us still feel so gross?! Polls suggest that as many as half of Americans actually dread the holiday season due to feelings of grief. While the most obvious reason for grief is the death of a loved one, grief can also result from broken relationships, lost jobs, financial instability, and a host of other causes. Even for people who seem to manage their grief well on a day-to-day basis, the holidays can be a huge emotional setback. Traditions have deep emotional roots in the human brain and the holidays are full of them, so sharing a family meal after the loss of a loved one, not being able to afford gifts as in the past, or spending time in a different location than where traditions were formed is enough to lead to some pretty significant depressive symptoms.
So, how do you combat holiday grief? First, give yourself some room to feel your feelings. Second, take control of those feelings! Try to reframe. If you baked cookies with your mom every year and she has passed away, bake those cookies in her memory. If you are away from family, try to set up a video call so that you can still see everyone. Maybe eat a meal together virtually. Another option is to deliberately begin a new tradition. Maybe you have had to make the difficult decision to emotionally distance yourself from family for one reason or another and you can establish new “family” traditions with friends. All traditions start somewhere!
If you feel like holiday grief is more than you can handle, please seek help! As mental health professionals, we can work with you on strategies to help you manage your unique situation and get through this holiday season- maybe even finding a little bit of joy in the process. Remember, if nearly 50% of Americans are experiencing this, chances are your mental health provider has been through it (or is going through it), too!
